Denver welcomes us with beautiful shots of scenery and some hot mess previews. Looks like Posh is back…with a rod sticking out of her head?!

Showin’ a little love to Chris Daughtry as his audition city was Denver. If Daughtry is the new Nickelback, I’m fine with that. Nickelback is hella annoying.

Weird bit with Randy as David Beckham. Bizarre use of time.

Mark LaBriola: “Tempted” is such a great song. Bonus points for a cool song choice. This guy has sort of a weird and convoluted backstory, but the voice is good. The judges dig his voice and he’s through. If you’re keeping score at home, so far in the episode the number of times Kara has thrown up her hands in disbelief is already at two. We’re six minutes in.

Montage! This time it’s nerves, nerves, nerves and how the contestants deal with said nerves. Which leads us to our next contestant…with the most amazing nervous laugh ever.

Mario Galvan: It’s a ‘no’ for the nervous laugh, but it was definitely one of the funnier loser auditions of the season. Simon had one his best moments so far this year when he mocked Mario’s nervous laugh with scary precision. I was lol-ing it up, fo sho.

We’re welcomed back from commercial with another slew of rather foul-talking contestants degrading themselves even further by lashing out at the cameras. Yikesy.

Kimberly Kerbow: Kimberly is a single mom with a very cool voice. Simon (the apparent Captain of the hurt feelings train tonight) says he can see why she’s a single Mom. Um, ouch! Hilarious, yes, but major ouch. And then when she leaves the room (with her golden ticket), he says he noticed she was wearing a wig. Man, Simon is really goin’ out in style this season…

Back from commercial and Posh is talking about all the “looks.”At least she knows her role.

Danelle Hayes: Danelle wins the prize for the strongest tug out our heartstrings tonight. The next time you watch a Lifetime movie and think “who’s life is actually like this?”, well, this is the girl. Like Kimberley, Danelle is a single mama. She’s got a great voice to match her story, thank goodness. It’s the kind of voice that naturally draws a comparison to Janis Joplin, another hot mess tortured soul. Simon, keepin’ it real once again, tells her she’s almost broken. They all love her, though, and pass her right on to Hollywood.

Casey James: Casey was in a motorcycle accident. He has a scar on his arm, but his Wrangler Jeans face has remained intact. His voice is pretty good, nothing spectacular. Kara and Posh proceed to fawn all over the dude, including the moment when Kara, the subtlety Queen, asked him to just go ahead and take the shirt on off. Simon is uninterested, but Randy sides with the aroused ladies and sends him to Hollywood.

Tori Kelly: Tori is a very cute girl. And I actually like her voice. It’s unique. Simon, on the other hand, is not feeling it at all. I’m not sure why he’s so against her, but at least he’s being consistent today. Posh tells her she likes her look. I’m not kidding. She said it again. For like the 12th time tonight. It’s 31 minutes in. Simon is overruled again. Tori is through to Hollywood.

Back from commercial and everyone is feeling confident about Day 2. The judges, the contestants…Austin Paul.

Austin Paul: This is my favorite kind of bad singer. The kind of lame dude that is truly convinced – and believably so – that he is great at all things. All things. I’m sure there are one or two things he is actually decent at, but singing is simply not one of those things. They all call him out on his inexplicably cocky attitude and then tell him he’s not going to Hollywood. He makes a weird retort claiming it would be a good story. I have no idea what story he could possibly be referring to.

In other news, Posh appears to be sending a fashion message to James Cameron that she wants to be his next leading lady.

Kenny Everett: Kenny compares himself to Mary J. and says his singing is like public service to other people (while shots of him singing in a park are shown). All I can say is I surely hope those helpless geriatrics at the park suffer from a near complete lack of hearing because his voice is God awful. Lots of shouty yelling. Seriously, it’s so loud and annoying that both shouty and yelling are necessary. No golden ticket for him. No way.

Back from commercial with shots of girls with high-pitched and highly irritating voices. A couple of equally not good guys are thrown in for good measure.

Nicci Nix: Nicci is another girl with a high-pitched voice. She’s traveled the furthest to be here, which shouldn’t matter but apparently it does. What does matter is that she has a surprisingly strong singing voice. She also doesn’t sing in a squeaky voice, which is a huge relief.

Back from commercial – again – with more losers. This time the music tells us we aren’t supposed to laugh. We’re supposed to empathize.

Haeley Vaughn: Our last contestant obviously has a back story. She was a preemie as a baby and she lost her Dad as a child. Unlike so many of the people with back stories, this girl seems likeable on her own. She sings a Carrie Underwood song, which I won’t hold against her. She apparently loves country music. I like this girl a lot and the judges agree. Randy likes her so much so that he says a “million percent” yes. That’s our Randy.

Denver sent a total of 26 people to Hollywood. Just as we think we’re through with Denver, we meet “Bikini Boy,” also known as a huge waste of a minute. After that we get a peek at tomorrow’s episode, the final episode before Hollywood Week.

Tomorrow will be a look at some of the best performances we haven’t seen. It will include footage from all the cities. An entire episode of at least semi-talented singers? Rejoice!

Photos: Michael Becker / FOX

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